Borrowed Cowboy Read online

  Reese drew in a steadying breath as her body quivered in the aftermath of her orgasm. Pax crawled up her body, rolled to the side, and pulled her against him, holding her until her heartbeat slowed.

  “You okay?”

  “I think you killed me.” She snuggled deeper into his chest, wishing they could stay like this forever.

  Uh, oh. Don’t go there. You promised him. Pleasure only.

  “You sure about that?” He pressed his hips against her. She felt the hard ridge of his erection.

  The doorbell rang.

  “Pizza.” He groaned. “Damn it. This’ll have to wait a bit longer.” He jumped up and tugged on his jeans, zipping them over his hard cock with a tortured growl. “Be right back.”

  She smiled as he stalked from the room bare-chested and sporting wood. She hoped the delivery person wasn’t female. She didn’t like the idea of another woman getting a glance at what, for tonight anyway, belonged to her.

  And if the pizza turned out to be half as good as the cookies had been … Lord help her … she might not survive it.

  Chapter Six

  “What’s your deal today?” Clay complained and stood, arching his back into a stretch.

  Pax glanced up. “What’s that supposed to mean?” His gloved hands worked on autopilot as he spliced a new piece of barbed wire into yet another broken section of fence.

  “I don’t know. You’re a little testy. More than usual, I mean.” Clay jerked off his gloves and flipped open the cooler that sat in the bed of his truck. He twisted the cap off and drained half a bottle of water in one swallow.

  “Could be that it’s a hundred and five degrees, and I’m stuck out here fixin’ goddamned fences with your sorry ass.”

  Clay’s brows shot up. “Somewhere you’d rather be?”

  Only one place he could think of. Hence his testiness.

  It’d been a solid week since he and Reese were together, and Pax hadn’t stopped thinking about her.

  She’d stayed with him until almost eleven. He’d actually enjoyed the quiet intimacy of sharing a pizza with her and then later, much later, helping her back into her clothes. He’d held her hand. Walked her to her car. He’d kissed her, mumbled something about how great it’d been to see her, then he’d kissed her again. And again. He hadn’t been able to get enough of her mouth and had been loath to let her go.

  She’d been so responsive, so willing to give him whatever he wanted. It had been one of the greatest nights of his life. For the first time in months, he wished things were different. That he could erase the last few years and build something new.

  Which was why he’d put her in her car, and watched as the taillights disappeared down the drive.

  He hadn’t asked for her number. She hadn’t offered.

  Borrowed.

  That’s what she’d called him. Implying she’d gotten something from him that he’d eventually get back.

  Had she? Would he?

  His time, he didn’t give a fuck about. She’d needed him, he’d been there. Time well spent. He’d do it again too, if she asked. He’d known it the second she’d fallen through the bathroom door and into his arms.

  But the ever-increasing ache in his chest … now that gave him pause. His heart wasn’t available to borrow, damn it. Because if it were, with Reese, he was afraid he’d not want it back. He’d want her to keep it. Always.

  The word glutton sprang to mind. Christ, he cared about Reese, but he couldn’t—wouldn’t—go down that path again. No fucking way.

  A frustrated growl escaped his throat. “You done for the day? ’Cause last time I looked, this fence isn’t gonna fix itself.”

  Clay pffed, pulled his gloves on, and went back to work. On a normal day, Pax enjoyed working alongside his brother. They’d worked together their whole lives, making words almost unnecessary when it came to getting shit done. They worked with a quiet efficiency that only came from experience and a sense of partnership.

  “You’ll never guess who I saw at Slick’s last Saturday night.”

  Not today, however. Today, it seemed Clay was more interested in running his mouth.

  Pax had sweat running into the crack of his ass, and he hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in a week. A flame-haired beauty had plagued his dreams, causing him to wake at all hours with the hard-on from hell. He needed a shower. Wanted a drink. He wasn’t in the mood for guessing games.

  “The Pope?” He picked up the stretcher and with a few practiced movements, finished the repair.

  “Aren’t you the smart ass. No, funny guy. Reese Jameson.”

  He hesitated, his heart tripping over itself. “That right?”

  “You don’t seem all that surprised.”

  Pax shrugged and moved to the cooler to grab a bottle of water. His ball cap was soaked with sweat, as was the rest of him. He pulled it off and smoothed his hair back. Fuck, it was hot. His shoulders ached and he decided he’d had enough for the day. He dropped the tailgate on Clay’s truck and rested his ass on the edge.

  “Why would I be? She lives this side of Houston. Makes sense she’d be around.”

  “Yeah, well, she hasn’t been around in years, as far as I know.”

  “You keep tabs on all my old friends?”

  Clay gave him a wolfish grin. “Only the pretty ones. And damn if she hasn’t gotten prettier since high school.”

  She wasn’t just pretty. She was fucking gorgeous. “Yep,” was all he said as he finished his water and got to his feet. He’d ridden his horse out here after checking cattle and it was a long ride back. He wanted to get started.

  “Wait, you’ve seen her?” Clay asked.

  Every fucking inch of her. “She’s helping Lauren with the wedding.”

  “Oh. Damn. Small world, huh?” Clay rolled up the spool of wire as though he sensed Pax was done. “I’ll tell you man, that girl is like walking sunshine. All smiles and laughter.”

  Pax entertained the thought that he’d had something to do with her happiness that night, since she’d been with him the night before. She’d certainly been the cause of the satisfied grin he’d worn all day Saturday.

  “She was with some guy,” Clay continued. “Corporate type. Khakis and shiny shoes. Reminded me of Gavin.” Clay tossed him a wink, but Pax lost any semblance of playfulness at the ‘some guy’ part.

  His gut tightened. So less than twenty-four hours after he’d come inside her, she’d been out with another man. It shouldn’t bother him. Hadn’t he been the one to set the rules for their night together? He had no right to judge what, or who, she did. But, damn, it stung.

  “You guys were tight once.” Clay said as though he needed a reminder.

  Pax thought about how to respond. “We were friends, yes,” he said slowly. “Lost touch after awhile.”

  After the night that had changed the course of their lives.

  “Guess she’ll be around a bit, with the wedding being months away, huh? Wonder if she’d need me to do a private fitting for my tux.” Clay waggled his eyebrows. “I could get into that.”

  Pax drilled Clay with a stare. His brother was a known horndog, and, while Pax didn’t have a say in who Reese went out with, he damn sure had a right where Clay was concerned. “Don’t even think about it. Reese is off limits to you.”

  “Says who?”

  “Just leave her alone, Clay.” Pax shook his head to indicate he was done with this conversation.

  Clay tossed the spool of wire in the bed of the truck and turned to face him, arms crossed, smirk firmly in place. “You can’t be serious. You think I’m not good enough for her?”

  “That’s not what I said. Reese isn’t the kind of woman you just fuck and forget.” He should know. “She deserves a man who’ll give her more than that.” A warning for himself as much as for Clay.

  “A man like you
?” Clay spoke without malice, and with only a slight twinge of curiosity and a heavy dose of knowledge.

  Sometimes Pax hated that his brother could read him so well. They were the only two of the six Mathis siblings who weren’t twins. Stuck in the middle with only a few years separating them, he and Clay had developed a special bond. The un-twins as they’d once called themselves.

  Regardless of his desire not to share, he owed Clay an explanation.

  “I had sex with her,” he said finally, hoping Clay wouldn’t push. “She was here last Friday and one thing led to another and…” The rest was between him and Reese.

  Clay’s smirk disappeared. “And that makes it okay, how?” Again, no malice. Concern, maybe, for him or for Reese, Pax didn’t know. “You just said she deserved more than that. You tellin’ me you’re prepared to be that guy? Not that I wouldn’t be happy to see you live again. But if you’re not ready to let go of the past, then maybe you need to leave her alone as well.”

  Ouch. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m fine. I’ve moved on from all that bullshit.”

  “Really? ’Cause from where I stand, it sure doesn’t look like it.” Clay studied him. “Tell me something. You been in the barn lately?”

  Pax jutted his chin to where his horse grazed. “Where do you think I got Midas?” Not a lie, just not the barn he knew Clay was referring to.

  Clay rolled his eyes, a clear indication he hadn’t appreciated Pax’s answer. “My point, exactly. You should take your own advice before someone gets hurt.”

  “You should mind your own business.”

  Clay didn’t budge. “You’re probably right, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna. Not while you’ve got your head up your ass. You and Reese have history. You obviously like her enough to sleep with her. Why not be that guy? What’s stopping you?”

  Pax stared at his younger brother. He appreciated that Clay cared about him, but it annoyed him all the same that Clay wouldn’t let it drop. “Nothing’s stopping me. I don’t want a relationship. End of story.”

  “Why not?”

  “Jesus, what’re you? My shrink?” Pax’s temper flared. “My wife cheated. Repeatedly fucked other men while sharing my bed.” A familiar disgust threatened to gag him. “You tell me why I don’t want to get into that shit again.”

  “Reese isn’t Tammy,” Clay threw back at him.

  “You don’t know that,” he barked, the words flowing out before he could stop them. “You said it yourself—she was with some guy the night after she was with me.” Pax regretted the words the second they’d left his mouth. Whether he saw her again or not, she deserved better than his ugly insinuations.

  “You do know. I can see it in your eyes. God, Pax. Aren’t you tired of holding on to a past that doesn’t want you anymore?”

  Clay scrubbed a hand over his face. “I’m sorry for what Tammy did. Jesus fuck, man. I’m so sorry about what you went through, but haven’t you let her take enough from you? Let that bitch have the years she stole. They’re over. You don’t need them anymore. Let those years go, Pax. Don’t give Tammy another second of your life. She’s not worth it.”

  He stood, shell-shocked by the sadness in Clay’s voice. He hadn’t thought about it like that. Hadn’t thought beyond the pain of being betrayed. He’d been so wrapped up in his own anger and resentment, he’d never considered how his hurt had effected his family.

  Pax hooked his fingers and let out a shrill whistle. Midas glanced up, ears perked. Pax whistled again and the sleek, chestnut stallion trotted his way.

  He turned back to Clay. “Look, I appreciate everything you’ve said. And you’re not wrong.”

  “Of course I’m not.” The smirk was back. “You deserve to be happy, that’s all I’m saying. Don’t cheat yourself out of an opportunity, you know, if one happens to present itself.”

  Pax nodded, the only affirmation he was able to give. He needed to think and was glad for the ride ahead.

  Clay didn’t understand. God willing, Clay would never be in the position to understand. But the fact Clay loved him enough to shoot straight had Pax biting back eye-stinging emotion.

  He’d never been more grateful to have his family than he was this moment. It was high time he stopped giving them reason to worry. It was high time for a lot of things.

  Midas nudged his shoulder. Pax rubbed his muzzle. “What do you say we get out of here, huh?” he said to the horse. To Clay, he said, “You comin’ back to the house?”

  “Nope. Gonna hit the shower and head out. We’ve had enough girl talk for one day, don’t you think? Besides, unlike some of us, I’ve got a date.”

  Pax mounted up. He tugged the reins to turn Midas around. “Catch you later, then. Have fun.”

  As he headed home, Clay’s words played over and over in his head. A past that didn’t want him anymore. Pax made it all the way to the barn before he realized the feeling was mutual.

  Chapter Seven

  Pax walked into the house, dog-tired and ready for a shower.

  After he’d left Midas and jumped in his truck for the half-hour drive back to the house, he’d decided to ask Lauren for Reese’s phone number. He wasn’t ready to analyze the why of it. He wanted to hear her voice. Wanted to. Not needed to.

  The sounds of feminine laughter rang out. He followed the noise toward the kitchen.

  And Jared had wondered why he didn’t stay at his own house.

  This was the reason.

  Here, he was surrounded by people he loved and who loved him back. People who’d kept him grounded. Here, was laughter and—he inhaled, a smile on his face—homemade cookies.

  His house—no way he’d call it a home—consisted of walls and a roof. A container holding memories turned toxic over time. His ex-wife’s infidelity had poisoned any happy memories he might’ve had. Memories that had threatened to suck him into a bottle of booze. Then another. And another. Until there was nothing left to remember. Or feel.

  The way Tammy had flirted to get his attention. At first, he’d found her cute and fun. Later, he’d realized she’d flirted too hard, had been too focused, as though she’d targeted him.

  The way she’d smiled on their wedding day, as though he was her knight-in-shining-armor. Her knight with a bank account, more like it.

  Staying in the bunkhouse, being close to his family, had kept him sane, connected. They’d surrounded him, kept him busy, refused to allow him to be swallowed up by anger and grief.

  There was no withdrawing within the Mathis clan. Even Gavin had called him from London every goddamned day to make sure he was doing okay. Pax was grateful, now that his anger had dissipated, but at the time those calls had pissed him off.

  Gavin had meant well, just as Clay had today. Couldn’t really fault them. Pax would do the same, if the situation were reversed. Family first. Always.

  Clay’d been right about one thing, he was tired. His energy to stay angry had been expended.

  “What’s going on in here?” Pax asked as he entered the kitchen, although it was obvious based on the bowls piled in the sink and the cooling cookies that seemed to cover every available surface.

  Erin pulled a baking sheet from the oven and his mouth watered. Chocolate chip, his favorite.

  “Cookies!” Amber squealed and scampered toward him, arms outstretched.

  Lauren was parked on a stool at the island and sitting next to her … it looked as if he wouldn’t need to ask Lauren for Reese’s number after all.

  Reese turned on her stool and Pax almost missed a step as her gaze went liquid, crystal blue glittering as bright as the lazy smile she wore.

  Damn, she looked good. Hair pulled back. Black, sleeveless top that hugged her breasts. Denim shorts that showed a delicious amount of her crossed legs. Sexy gold sandals with straps that wound arou
nd her ankles. He didn’t miss an inch as he took her in from her head to her sinfully red-painted toenails.

  Tearing his gaze away, he scooped up his two-year-old niece before she head-butted his kneecaps. “Cookies?” He pulled back and gave Amber a suspicious look as she squirmed in his arms. “Do we have a cookie thief around here? What happened to all the cookies we had last week?” He slid a glance to Reese. Her eyelids fluttered shut, a pretty flush darkened her cheeks.

  Tiny palms flattened against his cheeks, drawing his attention back to Amber’s grave expression. “All gone,” she informed him.

  Pax did his best to keep a straight face. “Then it’s a good thing you’re making more.” He kissed her cheek, then blew a raspberry on her neck, causing her to kick and cackle with glee. “Okay munchkin, now that you’re all covered in sweat and dirt, go sneak me one of those yummy cookies before your momma kicks me to the shower.” A quick kiss to her forehead, and he set the giggling child back on her feet.

  “Dang it, Pax. I should’ve kicked you to the shower before you picked up my child.” Erin scolded in a playful tone that lightened her words.

  “Quit complaining. We both know you’ll toss her in the tub before bedtime anyway.” He moved to the sink to wash his hands. He smiled at Lauren. “Being a rancher’s daughter and now a rancher’s wife, you’d think my sister would be more tolerant to dirt.”

  “Pax, you know Reese Jameson, don’t you?” Lauren asked as she pulled Amber onto her lap. “Gavin said the two of you went to high school together.”

  Pax decided to have a little fun. “Sure, I remember Reese.” He extended a clean, dry hand across the counter that separated them. “Paxton Mathis. You remember me, don’t you?”

  She slid her hand in his. So soft and warm. He’d thought about touching her all damned week, so he took advantage of the opportunity to do it now. His fingers wandered, his thumb brushing the back of her hand, his index finger grazing over her wrist to feel her pulse jump with the intimate caress.

  She didn’t seem to mind, and she returned his caresses with an arched brow. Oh, he liked a woman with sass. Good to know Reese’s was still intact.